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My face and half my body on the right side is still numb. However, my dreams are better and I am sleeping more.

With that said, an abusers goal is to knock one off of their center. To distort their reality and replace it with theirs. They keep you away from friends and family and from anyone that doesn’t share their point of view.

After the panic attack where I reached out for help online, I was monitored, told to stay inside of the room and to keep off of facebook. Because “nothing online is real, it is a fake world and nobody cares for anyone.” Every hour between 9pm-4am that Tuesday night, Malabika “Brahma” Bhattacherjee would come in or message me online saying “I hope you are asleep.”

In the village I was asked over and over every night if I wanted rice beer. She explained it as a village drink that is good for kids and for the digestive system, “children drink it,” she explained. The last night I had to say no more than 5 times. ” I do not drink anything fermented when I have a choice.”

I remember the tales of tragedy she told. Before I came Torsha had typhoid and was on bed rest, which the issue was the loss of money for her pills, NOT the fact that she was sick. When I arrived she had a friend dying from cancer who has no family. She stated a student committed suicide in Kolkata while we were in Shanti Niketan  on the last day October 10th after we left  the AIIS office. This was to explain her behavior of laughing and having fun with everyone and leaving me out of discussions, groups travel arrangements and the grant funding meetings.

I remember after they received their checks, they both got dressed and explained they were going to see long lost friends. They were gone for the majority of the day. This happened every week during the day. They have no job so I was wondering why they kept leaving me at the house alone.

So my symptoms showed. I shook everywhere I went. If I passed a bidi, I shook so bad I almost burned the other person. A villager asked, “Why does she shake so badly?” She told me she said ” because she is a breakdancer and breakdancers shake.” But in hindsight I wonder what she said about me.

I have always been interested in learning a language. in fact, my goal is to learn more than 17 languages. I have been learning Hindi and bengali. I’d ask for the meaning of words and for them to translate. She got annoyed and yelled ” I can’t translate everything for you.” Which everything for Malabika is nothing. I found out all the words she told me had the wrong meaning. She told me deliberately the wrong pronunciation of a woman’s name. She would do things like this to me through out the trip.

As the 3 weeks passed that felt like an eternity, she stopped speaking English and only her husband Sanjay would speak to me and inform me of what was going on. But again, I had to ask. I would get yelled at if I was not ready to go but they wouldn’t tell me we were leaving until right before we left. So  you can try to imagine. I was wondering why so many people gave me such a nasty look. The jewelry artist I interacted with, according to them, is named Sumoti Murmu. Sanjay Bhattacherjee stated that he gave Sumoti 1000INR for the jewelry I was supposed to bring back to the US and then give her all her profit. But now I am unsure he paid them or portrayed me in such a light. I plan to deliver this jewelry and profit to her in any way that I can.

All I wanted to do was teach. I just wanted to teach 9-5 for four months working with those who don’t get the chance to learn like others. And this was an obstruction of this. And taking people’s right to education away is a crime against humanity. And I will not let her win or get away with taking people’s chance to learn and make connections by distorting me to the people of the village and the city.

Photo of me on the plane as I clear my mind enough to recognize what had just happened to me

Photo of me on the plane as I clear my mind enough to recognize what had just happened to me.

 

 

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Fraud in the City of Joy – Day 2

Published on October 17, 2017 by in Uncategorized

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So, it’s day 2 of freedom. Mo more concrete floor, no more screaming and yelling, no more neglect and sexual assault.

This was my trip! Someone’s plan to take money from the program.

Malabika Brahma frequently said and told others ” It’s a robin hood thing, we take from the rich and give to the poor.” Had no idea she thought I was rich.   You could tell she really thought I had something. And was angry when…infact, I didn’t have any money. Like I had said before.

My face is numb and the entire right side of my body is numb. My feeling has been coming in and out through out the day. I have moments where I stare into the images in my mind. The manipulation, the lies. The treatment during my panic attack. She told me I had demons inside of me and they needed to be exorcised. She said there is a place in Kolkata where you go to for 10 days. You have no connection with the outside world and you eat when they tell you too etc. She said we can put you there for 10 days. Then see how you feel.

Of course I couldn’t respond. I was unaware of where I was. She told me I was bipolar because she had a friend who was. But I thought to myself, “If you have a friend who has this then why are you so surprised and treating me like a criminal?”  She screamed during the panic attack ” Get the fuck out I want to get this shit out of my brain.” I guess she must have been talking about her plan.  All during Durga Puja. I felt like I was in hell. In fact I was.

I went back to the videos I liked from their youtube page, and I realized every person in the shot was a person I eventually saw. on the trip who treated me very badly and was benefitting from the money. In Suri, I had no idea this was happening…until I arrived. The photos taken were at the end. Didn’t get a stall or anything to lay my jewelry out on. They just said somethings about my art while on stage at the end and that was it. I wasn’t even a part of the concert. No footage or pictures of me dancing.

 

Look at the captions. I was not featured. I was brought up at the end and given a piece of paper about my jewelry which had no place in their show, which they booked a long time ago.

 

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So we were in a very expensive hotel room before we went on and they bought 10 dishes while more than 20 people at a time sat on the bed and ate and smoked a chillum. I was kept in the room next door. They asked me if I wanted to stay the night or go back. I said go back. Had no idea how they were paying for all of this….But then of course they demanded money from me each and everytime.

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I still can’t feel my face as I think of this. I think my body is just so tried of manipulation in all forms that it is just reacting. Just reacting. Twitching from the screams and the heat. twitching from the inability to leave the house or to meet with other people. I was in a dungeon for a month. They had a room full of appliances they claimed did not work. But then would use them later in the day. Pathological lies from Malabika. She would lie about who cooked the food. Lie about people’s death and lie about people’s diseases. She said her friend is dying from cancer on the way to shantiniketan. She asked me to look up an extract that she said was unavailable in india and was seeing if I could get it.  She was crying and I felt I was supposed to do something. In fact she made me feel like I was letting her down by not reaching out to someone in the US that could do this illegal trade with her. She tried to make me feel like I was crazy…but, it didn’t work. I scratched and clawed my face while having the panic attack. and she stood their and watched. She watched me shake and cry with an emotionless face. She put Subir on the phone. She filmed and took pictures of me after they hadn’t fed me in 3 days DURING the panic attack.. This was after the ants were found in my food. This was the most horrific and evil experiences I have ever had…. I am still in shock. The way she blocked me on fb while in her house and began treating me badly. Refused to speak English so that I would feel more left out and constantly made sure I wasn’t in the same place for longer than 4 of the waking hours of the day. Over $3,000 US dollars stolen by Malabika Bhattacherjee (Brahma), Sanjay Bhattacherjee (Khyapa) of BrahmaKhyapa and Jungle Music School. A school that doesn’t exist. Two people told me….or tried to convince me. Mustafahfizur Rahaman and Her mother. They both told me “Malabika di is a great person.” If you have to tell me this, what does that say about her? At one point in the office while Subir was making copies, Malabika told me to prepare an invoiceshe needed, send it to her and Joy and they will send it to Subir. I was like wait…no I dont need to send anything to you!

She just stared.

I am going to meditate.

Malabika Brahma - Malabika Bhattacherjee Fraud in the City of Joy

Malabika Brahma – Malabika Bhattacherjee
Fraudulent Activity in the City of Joy  

 

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Fraud in the City of Joy – Account 1

Published on October 16, 2017 by in Uncategorized

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I am speechless and then at the same time will produce pages for what has just happened.

 

Plain and simple: I reported sexual assault of Paul Rockower, Anshul Gupta and a security guard in Patna Bihar in 2014.

 

Swept under the rug.

I go to the city of Kolkata September 6th, 2017. I arrive in the morning. No one comes for three hours. Needless to say I am crying and shaking, I am a trafficking survivor so these types of situations put me in a state of fear. Living with depression, anxiety and ptsd has been one of the hardest things to do, aside from being black and being a woman.

This has continuously been used against me. Infact, during that 2014 incident everyone took my abuse as a joke accept for Emcee Purple.

So this trip, I thought I had a friend in Malabika Brahma/ Malabika Bhattacherjee of BrahmaKhyapa and Jungle Music School. I trust too easily…I’ll figure out how  continue being me so that my ease in trust meets the right being.  As soon as I arrived, I felt semi-welcomed, for this is important, not fully welcomed.

They introduced me to a few people. But as the days went by we did nothing. We just sat in the house all day while their daughter Torsha went to school. Everything was hectic then there was the second week on Sunday, the Nandan Cypher. From there on I began to be treated like I was nothing and unimportant.

Malabika got no filming of me done and took a call from a person named Emrek for her next project in Europe. She became very disrespectful. Told me to shut up because she needs to take the call. She stopped speaking English after the third week.

The day after I had my panic attack. She monitored my sleeping. She went through my emails on my computer. She went to lengths to tell people whom I worked with before that I was uninterested in working with them and she told me the same about them.

Everyday she demanded money from me as the accountant only game me 10,000 INR for travel. They used it for travel, for food, paid their friends for rehearsals that I was not a part of. Framed the entire program as their own by taking footage of us hanging out and saying it was a class in collaboration with “Jungle Music School” and “BrahmaKhyapa.”

They didn’t teach a single class. They denied me toiletries such as toilet paper, toothepaste, shampoo, pads, and food. If I didn’t eat with them I didn’t eat. During Durga Puja, Malabika told me that Sanjay abused her and treated her very badly and so I asked if she wanted me to stand with her in confronting him. She of course said yes. As soon as she returned we all began arguing and the Sanjay Bhattacherjee stated “You have done nothing!” to me. I was very angry but of course, Malabika Bhattacherjee took his side. Which I actually expect from a normal domestic violence situation. I had a panic attack and was ridiculed for it. She threatened to kick me out. The next day I saw her bring me roti to eat but she turned to the side, wiped off the bottom and folded it over. She put it on top of my food, I felt strange but I picked it up and bit it, and ants came out into my food. Everyone behaved as if everything was normal.21543974_1444907608926965_3932501920208024518_o

This felt different, controlled and planned. I know these situations by being a trafficking survivor. And as I think, she would explain “We only live once and after this there is no more so we have to get all we can.” I try not to judge people, but I didn’t know this belief supported her actions so heavily.

During my panic attack, she stood over me and yelled ” No one cares about you! Not your friend A.G., not Cizzy, no one! I am the only person you know in this city.”

I was so afraid. They began treating me like a slave. They had a maid that came in on Tuesdays and I remember I gave her jewelry and after the next time she came I didn’t see her again. When the maid wasn’t there they treated me with the same behavior. She would order me to get up and go get things for her like food and drinks or whatever she needed.

They told me to ask for travel money from Subir every week. And as soon as they got paid, they were so nasty to me. Ignoring me, completely stopped speaking english. Bought things for themselves and left me out. refused me food and threatened to kick me out every week after my panic attack. She told everyone I was “mad” and I was “Crazy.” She went through my emails. She came in while I was sleeping on the concrete floor in an un air conditioned room. She said ” I saw you wrote a lot of emails last night.” She watched me, went through my personal writings and computer, wouldn’t allow me to leave alone and when I asked for someone to come with me they refused. SO I was trapped in the house the entire day.

One day they both left the full day. Because of the funds I am sure that is the day they decided to put the money in the bank. We went to Shanti Niketan and all my modes of communication were taken from me.

More to come. Because in hind sight, Malabika said that her daughter contracted typhoid fever before I came and that the medicine took up all the money from their European tour so could I please write the AIIS and ask if they could atleast get their checks in advance, you know, since the program didn’t start on time. When I walked into the AIIS office with Malabika, Sanjay and Subir. Subir said, “I thought you were supposed to come in August?” No apology, no nothing.

 

 

 

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Jukeboxx on Chennai Live! 104.8

Published on April 2, 2016 by in Press, Video

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Jukeboxx sharing her story of art and triumph on Chennai Live 104.8 in Chennai India 2016

 

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Watch below!

Jukeboxx on Chennai Live! 104.8

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Online Magazine featured work

Phases of Recovery (link to article)

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The KolKata Konnector

Published on February 5, 2016 by in Press

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“Women have the continual unfortunate reminder that their outer appearance is more important than their abilities”-Ansley Jones

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Chennai Patrika- American Artists perform at Swarnabhoomi Academy of Music

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American Artists perform at Swarnabhoomi Academy of Music

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This is an interview with Jukeboxx on the making of “The Assault Mixtape” with Curators of Hip Hop Co-Founder Jermaine Fletcher. Check out the interview below:

 

MORE THAN A MIXTAPE: AN AWARENESS DELIVERED THROUGH HIP HOP WITH SIGNIFICANT PURPOSE

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What is Art?

Published on February 10, 2015 by in Uncategorized

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A conversation started by my best friend Ciprian Gontea aka Radio. We were talking about art and decided that we would write down what we thought art was to each other, share it and then discuss it. And, I will add to delete…for the very same reason of the explanation of art :D

 

Art is love. Art is understanding. Understanding the process of life. Always growing and changing. Art is the soul. It is the essence of humanity. It is play. Serious play. Serious exploration, trial and error. It is the invisible curves the wind forms as it blows in unpredictable directions. It is turning a mistake into a learning example. Art is the connection and work ethic between my mind, body and soul. It is the ethereal. It is a miracle. Death follows shortly after art. The absence of art is the absence of life and light. Art is choice. Not shaving my legs in a dress is art, art challenges. It shapes the mind and connects the signals. Art is the manifestation of God.

 

 

 

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